Food for Thought

I've got a lot on my mind lately ... too much at times I think. This past weekend was hard - it was the longest I've ever been away from Kambri. I wasn't ready for it yet - I had to keep myself as busy as I could so I wouldn't think about my kids and what they were doing - you would think I would enjoy some time to myself right? Nope I miss my kids like crazy every time they are gone! I literally don't know what to do with myself when they are not around - I do things to try & fill in the void but it never works. I figure I'll have plenty of time to do things for myself when my kids are grown & have families of their own lol I know I'm crazy. :) On Friday night I went and saw Inception - it was a very good movie & it really made me think - not only because it was one of THOSE movies - but it also made you think about life. What is your reality? A job... kids... bills... the occasional vacation... happiness? Or are you too busy trying to achieve the finer things in life to enjoy what you have? Do you really love your kids & the things you own that you're paying the bills on? Or are you wishing you had something nicer but can't afford it ? Are you wishing your kids were older so they were more self-sufficient or so you can do MORE things with them? Or are you enjoying them while they are little? It still feels like just yesterday I brought Kambri home from the hospital & now she's 4 months old - rolling everywhere - picking things up - eating things she shouldn't be. I still remember Addi's 1st steps - & now I am buying a backpack with school supplies. Why is it only when you get older & your kids are grown & have grand kids that you stop to reflect on how fast they really grow? Why don't we stop in the here & now & realize we don't have as much time with them as we think we do? I try to think about that as much as I can - instead of getting caught up in life & becoming too busy with everything else that my kids grow before I can achieve the "want" things in life. Ha ha this post was kind of deep - just wanted to make you all think a little! :) Saturday I went on a ride in the Rhino with a good friend of mine. We went up the mountain to Kolob reservoir - on our way up I looked in the sky & saw some pretty big black rain clouds.... of course I was wearing a white shirt (blue undershirt-thank heavens) & I said "Is it supposed to rain today? I'm wearing a white shirt!" the response I got was ... "Oh, it's not going to rain that hard!!" boy were we wrong!! About 5 minutes outside of the reservoir it started down pouring - the Rhino didn't have a roof - and we were completely drenched about 10 minutes into it. On the way back down the mountain - the dirt roads had turned to pure mud - after about 10 minutes on the road I was covered in mud as well. :) It was so much fun - I sat there & thought about how many people I know that would complain - instead of just enjoying the moment. There was absolutely nothing we could do about it - it was raining there was no cover - it was cold (my mom told me to take a jacket .... I might not have listened ;) ) not even the trees could keep the rain off... I love summer rain storms though they are perfect. By the time we got off the mountain & back home - my hair was dry (wind blown) :) and the rest of me almost was. I jumped in the shower & got ready to head down to St George to have dinner with my grandparents for my Grandpa's 70th birthday! Geez you're old Grandpa! :) ha ha JK we love you. We went to Golden Corral (of course) & I was glad to have a good talk with my Gramma & to see them both - you would think as close as we live we would get to spend more time together with them. But of course - like in the beginning of this post - you get busy ... kids... school... work... life - but once again no one is around forever when they are gone am I going to wish my kids & I had spent more time with them? Am I going to be one of those people that stands there and thinks "I hope they know how much I love them." Instead of "They knew how much I love them"? I hope not - I love my grandparents & am so grateful for them - they are incredible people & I hope my kids get to spend a lot of time with them & love them as much as I do. I don't know how many people actually read my blog but I hope that this made you stop & think about things in your life - what you want to get out of life & are you doing the things you enjoy & the things that make you happy?